I just got back from the Jokers car/bike show over in Sweden, where I actually saw this Pan-Shovel in person and let me tell you…it is right on the money, sorry, krona to be politically correct and not racist. Anyway it’s so nice I went into a blurry kind of daydream and imagined grabbing the owners face and snogging him big time…wait…or did that really happen?…please lord forgive me for I have sinned.
Photos: Christer Erhling.

When it comes to capturing true English bad boy styling on 2 wheels, it could only be a Café Racer with a ‘dustbin fairing’! Sean’s BSA A10 not only looks the bollocks but it’s also a beast to handle…especially riding out of a tunnel when the cross wind hits!

The DicE issue 20 release party was in Chicago and it was great! It was like we were ancient Vikings taking over a town by raping all the horses and riding all the women! Wait…Yeah that’s right. Oh and we also got to meet Frank and scope out his sound beach buggy. Charge!

Jokers: Part 6! This is it people…the last piece in the 6 part series on our beloved friends in Sweden…The grand finale…oh dang…I think I’m gonna…here I go with the waterworks…I miss you already guys.
Photos: Christer Erhling

Basically, I’ve got 2 women on the go at the same time. I got off with them down the pub and they both want me. Here’s the thing, one is an absolute stunner but has nothing up top in the brain department and I need to be stimulated mentally as well as in my loin area. You know? Now the other one is smart, 5 GCSE’s, and she’s a right laugh, but she’s a bit of a bloater. I know people say you should choose brains over beauty, so my problem is this…can I tell fatty to lose weight?

Recipe: 'Banana Gold'. Ingredients: Power, Chrome & Rideability. Directions: Whisk the whole thing together slowly and as minimal as possible. Heat it up and then dip it all in Banana Candy, wrapping it up at the end with a nice cone.

I have wanted to build a twin engine trike forever! Well I say forever, really about a week now….but...Ok, imagine it…2 engines, 4 wheels on the back and scorpion tail body that you sit in! Stupes right?! No, brilliant! So 5 wheels and 2 Knucklehead engine should be called, without a doubt, a ‘Fucklehead’. Any sponsors or multi millionaires reading this please email me if you are interested in letting me waste a lot of your money on this amazing concept! Ok that was the big sell and I’m sure the emails will be flooding in! Ps. I plan to be drunk the whole time through the build! Sweet!

Have you ever noticed how those freaky Olson Twins from ‘Full House’ look like Owls? Right! So weird.
Photos: Gary Griffin

We had really planned to attend the world famous bike show held in Norrtalje, Sweden this year but we just couldn’t pull it off…so we did one better!…we obtained pictures from the same show taken back in 1979!! Can you say Crazy Choppers, Wild Paint and Winged Tanks?! Ezzee-now!
Photos: Bengt Alm

You have to see this bike in person it is nuts! It’s like someone has mildly shrunk a Panhead but you don’t notice it until you walk up to it as the proportions are perfect! Looks like it has a 16 on the back and 21 on the front? Wrong! It has a 15 on the back and an 18 on the front! You should have seen it when Jake the Captain stood next to it…it looked like a micro machine! This bike is BRILLIANT! Built by ‘Ace Motorcycles’, Japan.

It was Evel Knievel that famously said:
…“I love the feeling of the fresh air on my face and the wind blowing through my hair but I don’t like smashing my head into the ground at 80 mph.” …
All we can say to that is, “Toughen up man!” (Just kidding EK we love you!) This issue’s style bible… Helmets.

I have wanted to build a 3-engined trike forever! Well I say forever, really since about 5 quotes ago….but...Ok, imagine it…3 engines, 3 wheels on the back and rattlesnake tail body that you sit in! Ridic right?! No, fantastic! So 3 wheels and 3 Triumph engines should be called, without a doubt, a ‘Triplumphant’s Mortal Revenge’. Any sponsors or multi millionaires reading this please email me if you are interested in letting me waste a lot of your money on this amazing concept! Ok that was the big sell and I’m sure the emails will be flooding in! Ps. I plan to be high on peyote the whole time through the build! Peace.
Photos: Gary Griffin

Julian Balme slaves away for us yet again to the boring chore of taking pics. Poor thing. The beautiful Agent Lynch takes no prisoners!

When I first met Nad’s he said I looked like Dave Vanian, only skinnier and paler. Is that even possible? If it is…then…er…thanks mate, I take it as a compliment!

Unfortunately I couldn’t make the EDR this year because I was out of town and my cat had just passed away and I lost the keys to my bike then I lost my id in a flood and I had a tummy ache. Don’t get me wrong I am fucking hardcore brother and I could have ridden that little thing blindfolded but I just couldn’t make it alright?! Thinking about it, why couldn’t I make it this year? Oh I remember now…I’m a Pussy that’s why!
Photos: Josh Kurpius

You are never going to believe this, but I actually sent a letter to Buckingham Palace to get some feedback on this here bike…check it out, this what I got back!
“Thanking yourselves greatly Dean for the letter of poetic license, one does agree that the bike in the picture is a 'fucking sweet ride' as you so kindly say, but I am a little confused about why you are writing to my good self about it? Also one is jolly sorry but you, one's old bean, cannot come to our residence and 'shoot the shit' as it were with my mother.”
Sincerely,
Prince Charles.
Photos: Etienne Musslin

This bike is as mad as a whale’s knob! Shinya is the king…this Knucklehead is crazy…in good way, ‘natch!

Dial 1800-Doctorb…the b is for bollocks!